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What Happens When One Suffers From Low Self Esteem

Low self esteem has been frequently considered the cause of a lot of the world’s social problems—from crime, to the inability of people to socially interact with other people. However, there has been little consideration as to what it really is, and what tangible effects it may have on a person. In order to understand what it is and, in effect, resolve some of its detriments, it is first important to explore some basic concepts related to it, as well as its various impacts.

To begin with, self esteem is the value people associate themselves with. Therefore, unlike the misconception that self esteem is how confident people are about what they can do, self esteem is really more self-worth than confidence. The latter, after all, is more associated with the belief in one’s own ability to perform future tasks, whereas self-worth is how they see their own selves at the present time.

However, this is not to say that self esteem is a variable concept. Quite the contrary, psychologists consider self esteem as a rather enduring conception that people have about themselves, despite the fact that there may be some instances of a person’s self worth momentarily faltering in the opposite direction.

When people suffer from feelings of low self worth, they often compare themselves to other people. In the process, they see their flaws sticking out, making them less respectable than the people they are comparing themselves to. They will see what they lack and what they do not possess, and over-glorify the good traits that other people may have.

Increased paranoia over the possibility that people are making fun of them may also take place. They may be overly afraid of being judged when they go out in public with their flaws so obvious for the world to see. This will create within them strong feelings of self hate and self loathing.

There are also moments when people who suffer from low levels of self esteem feel as though they do not deserve the things they have, or are not worth the love their friends or family bestow on them. They will often feel like they are not worth the trouble, and clearly a waste of whatever time, money, and effort that people may be spending in order to be with them or to make them feel special.

They may then withdraw from whatever social interactions they have, or may at least have some difficulty interacting with other people. They may become overly sensitive to critique, and may often feel helpless and vulnerable even when around the people who truly care for them. Unfortunately, some of them may also express whatever self hate they feel through anger and increased intolerance of what other people have to say to them.

Some indicators of some form of low self esteem may include an obsessive form of perfectionism. People who suffer from such low self worth tend to impose impossible standards upon themselves, and therefore foster deeper feelings of self hate as they are unable to meet these expectations. They may also be too willing to please other at their own expense. This is usually because whatever affirmation they receive from other people become ways for them to see themselves, at least momentarily, as worthy of respect and love.

Unfortunately, without that nod of approval from other people, they will again express feelings of worthlessness.

March 21st, 2009 Posted by Odie | Self Esteem | no comments

Why Other People are the Causes of Low Self Esteem

Newborn babies have no self esteem problems. They have no concept of failure or falling short of expectations. In a very real sense, our interactions with other people are the root causes of low self esteem. Since you cannot avoid interacting with people, you have to learn how to identify these causes and stop them from affecting you.

Low Self Esteem From The People You Know

Parents lay the foundation for self image. Children understand that parents expect certain things of them, and if they fail these expectations, it can decrease their sense of self worth. It is important for parents to realize the limits to which they can push their offspring to excellence. You cannot change your past, and you cannot blame your parents for wanting you to succeed, but what you can change is the way you look at it. Acknowledge the love, learn to set aside the disappointment, and move on.

Your partner also has certain expectations regarding your relationship, so it is important that these expectations are verbalized. Constant dialogue is important as there can be no greater blow to self image that being though of as falling short of an ideal that you do not even know about. The same principle can be applied to relationships with friends and relatives. Be sure that you can clarify your role and understand what they expect of you.

Work relationships are at once both easier and harder on self image. On one hand, your job description makes the expectations of the people in the workplace crystal clear. On the other hand, this clarity also makes in easier to point out your shortcomings. What is important in this situation is to realize that a job is an opportunity for growth. If you do no have the required skills yet, identify them so you can acquire them and meet your goals.

Low Self Esteem From The People You Don’t Know

The opinions of total strangers affect all of us to a certain degree. These perceptions may reach your in many different ways. You may overhear comments of people as you walk down the street. You may read comments about you written in blogs or articles. You may identify with certain groups that are discussed in the media, such as on TV or in magazine articles.

Judgments from people who do not know you can sometimes be more devastating than from those close to you. You may feel unfairly judged or belittled. Worse, you may even partially agree to these negative pronouncements. This can push your self image even lower. What is important is to identify the feeling and examine its cause. If you cannot dispute a negative observation yourself, look for positive affirmation. People who know you can help you set these things into perspective. Many resources both online and in print can prove these judgments wrong. You may want to avoid magazines or TV shows that make frequent erroneous pronouncements.

As you can see, our perception of failing other people’s expectations is the seed from which poor self image sprouts. These causes of low self esteem are ubiquitous and unavoidable so you must learn to guard against them if you want to grow. Learning to deal with other people in a positive way is the one sure path to confidence and a good self image.

March 12th, 2009 Posted by Odie | Self Esteem | no comments